“Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream.” Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.
Amita’s life is neither a miracle nor a dream, one can attribute her success to determination, hard work, self-reliance, willpower, patience, passion, optimism and confidence — all of these make her persona noteworthy and extraordinary.
Born to Kashmiri parents in Jammu Amita’s story of exile is distinct in terms of its socio‐psychological aspects because she was not raised in Kashmir. She experienced the typical balancing of cultures, choosing wisely what she wanted to follow. Living in two different cultures had its perks as well- the customs and ethnicity deeply influenced her upbringing.
“I am born and raised in Jammu but have equally if not more, felt the pain of my loved ones who became the victims of rising insurgency and extremism in Kashmir (during early 90’s). Thanks to my parents who would reminisce about Kashmir every single day when I was growing up.”
“The agony cannot be quantified, nor do I have any right to indulge in comparisons of ‘their pain’ versus ‘my pain’. I have grown up listening to horrifying stories, the explosive and inflammatory speeches that were broadcast to threaten my brethren in Kashmir, from the public address systems of the mosques.”
“I still remember my parents taking me to Geeta Bhawan, a pilgrim transit house, where thousands of KP families, who unfortunately had no relatives in Jammu, were forced to live in inhuman conditions. I was just 11 years old but vividly remember the pain in the eyes that were looking for reasons for being forced to abandon their comfortable homes and live a miserable life with no certainty of things ever becoming normal for them.”
No matter where you live, you do not cut off your roots, Amita’s deep connection with Kashmir and a strong sense of belonging to the community were simply a part of being human, like a fundamental need, a place where her extended family lived, a place which was the original home, the close bonds of connection with blood, the deep nourishment provided by relationships — she felt the power and mourned the loss. The lack of direct discrimination did not lessen the pain of ‘loss of identity’.
“Honestly, I never felt any direct discrimination as a Pandit. However, post exodus people in Jammu started making fun of Kashmiri accent, their clothing, eating habits and so on. Well, KPs were no less they in turn looked down upon the Dogras as selfish, cunning and unrefined.”
“With no bias, I feel people of Jammu have always been fantastic. Yes, they felt threatened due to the sudden migration of lakhs of people and started treating KPs as intruders who had come to snatch their jobs and create a feeling of inferiority and insecurity among Jammu students (Kashmiri students were considered brighter and better at studies). That fear may have been expected but over a period of time so many relationships have evolved between both the communities that neither can live in isolation, per force or choice.”
Roots had been lost in Kashmir — belonging was primal to sense of happiness- the freedom to inhabit both homes did not exist anymore. Everything around was real — the exodus, the lack of space to accommodate a huge influx of population, the struggle of each one from the community and the inspiration drawn from the courage of the exiled.
“I am inspired by every Kashmiri Pandit boy or girl who is doing extremely well in life despite being exposed to despotic circumstances, uprooted from the place which was their home, forced to live in camps in an alien environment, reliant upon food rations and subjected to extreme humiliation and social dishonor.”
“As mentioned, I am born and raised in Jammu. But it would be a lie to say that my professional and personal life never got influenced by post migration crisis. It was only after migration, that I realized I was fortunate to belong a community of high intellect and rich heritage, that even after being emotionally torn, robbed of fate, wealth, land, home and jobs left no stone unturned in rising against all odds that erupted in 1990. That increased the onus as it brought a feeling of self-realization that I ought to do well in life.”
“Well, you know the biggest treasure we cherish? nothing except education! Yes, even after facing persecution time and again, we were never taught to resort to violence. Post exodus, the pressure to redeem and rebuild lives was at its pinnacle. But with the only sword handed over to KP kids effected by the turmoil was ‘Education’, we continued shining and rising. Perseverance, focus, diligence and emphasis on education.”
Growing up Amita never felt any disconnect, she was intrigued by the experiences of her family from Kashmir, she found their journey exciting, yet painful. She truly revered the social connection and kinship. She was not in the ‘place’ but she was in the ‘environment’.
“My mother would hum this lullaby for me ‘Gaste Wesiye Lala Chhum Durey’. My favourite singer is Kailash Mehra and from the millennials I enjoy listening to Irfan, Bilal & Mehmeet Syed.”
Amita was perhaps an exception to the belief that our aspirations as children are a window into our future. She may have not have identified her passions early; her dreams and interests may have evolved with time, she decided the pace and the journey.
“As a child, I had absolutely no ambition. As absurd as it may sound, ironically is the truth of my life. I have been the most pampered child in my family being the youngest in the entire clan. In saying that, my parents never offered resistance towards anything I did. This included my non-seriousness towards academics as well (as a teenager).”
“Unlike most KP families (no offence to anyone), I consider myself really lucky as I was never forced to adhere to what my parents dreamt about my future. I could follow my own instinct and that is probably the reason I am who I am today. I have no regrets, I feel more alive, fulfilled and dare to dream. Also, I am not afraid to make mistakes. Thanks to my parents for believing in me and loving me unconditionally.”
Amita was extremely attached to her father, he was her mentor and guide, she looked upto him and he would unconditionally provide her support and encouragement. The drive to achieve, to fight, to succeed may have been fuelled externally or internally, the fire came from within.
“What drives me are words of wisdom by my late father — ‘Have reverence for your life. Don’t set unrealistic expectations, and don’t ever take your education for granted. Be open to learning and rejoice what you have learnt by sharing your knowledge. Be a charmer who make others look smart. And when people see that you are trying to learn from them, it makes liking you that much easier’. These words may sound cliché to many, but for me they serve as moral percepts that are going to guide me throughout my life.”
Amita’s career history is unique and enthralling. Like many she faced tough decisions along her professional journey, there may have been gray areas where we she was forced to take a call but she sought support and guidance and knew she would not get anything in life if she hesitated to ask.
“I was recommended by IISC Bangalore, for the prestigious UN project in Istanbul Turkey (European Regional Hub for UNDP). There was a lot of contemplation initially as I was expected to be away from my India for almost a year. But with the support of my in-laws and husband, I made my mind and decided to avail this golden opportunity.”
“The hardest part was to leave my son (8 years old that time) for almost a year. When I look back now, I get jitters how I took the decision of staying away from my son. The journey had just begun. God had some other plans after the UN project was over. I decided to move to New Zealand for better prospects. Soon I realized that this country was not easy, and I still had to do some neck-breaking tasks to get settled here in order to secure a better future for my family. I had to study again in order to upskill myself and secure my legal stay in the country, so I decided to broaden my academic avenues by obtaining a student visa. This one year gave me the leverage to identify my career prospects in this country. After completing my studies, immigration got on my nerves with their lengthy processing times it took more than a year. Gradually, I have been able to find my way in this land, but struggles continue. Today, my son is with me and we have been re-united after 4 long years. I am short of words to even express how I have felt all these years being away from my family especially my son.”
“Nothing comes on a platter. People who see you successful might not even realize the sweat and blood gone into that hard work which is bearing fruit now. It’s almost as if the end product — the songs themselves — are less important than the blood, sweat, and tears that went into them.”
Amita and I do share a common lineage as first cousins, her mother happens to be my father’s youngest sister. My Aunt had been privy to my father’s struggles from early on and being the youngest among seven siblings she always got preferential treatment. My father doted on her and she was devasted by his untimely demise for she had closely and silently watched him mourn the loss of home. Amita too being the youngest of all siblings and cousins was treated like a baby. To see where she is today and the challenges that came her way makes one regain confidence in the power of perseverance, dedication and sacrifice. I had been watching her closely for few years and at times I would worry about her — staying alone far away from family, the sudden demise of my Uncle (her father) in Jammu while she was in New Zealand, the hurdles in immigration — anything that appeared insurmountable — she overcame with firm resolve. Her success is no small feat and hope she continues to inspire.
Dr Amita Fotedar is an experienced Research Consultant with a demonstrated history of working in prestigious Research Institutes like United Nations Development Programme, European Regional Hub; Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore, India and International Water Management Institute, Colombo, Sri Lanka. Skilled in Biological Sciences, Natural Resources, Water Resource Management, and Renewable Energy, she has a PhD in Environmental Sciences from the University of Jammu. Apart from her PhD, she has a degree in International Studies from International Pacific University, New Zealand Campus.
Currently she is pursuing a specialization, MicroMasters in Sustainable Energy from The University of Queensland, Australia. She has around 40 national and international publications to her credit. She is also a Freelance Technical Research/Academic Consultant and Writer and works for clients globally. In addition, she is the Director/Co-founder — www.erda.co.nz — an Online establishment offering eco-friendly products to New Zealanders.
“In the path of our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.
Amita chose faith and fearlessness, and learned the traits that would make her successful, living them out every day, with integrity, modesty and gratitude.
Learn more about Amita here
Originally published on December 27, 2019 at https://www.facebook.com/notes/830546911032063/
© Jheelaf Parimu Razdan
