Exiled Inspiration VIII: Meanka Handu

9 min readDec 18, 2019

“Happiness is a choice. It is not always an easy one.” ― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Truly nothing could stand in the way of her happiness — be it freedom of choice, career, interests, pursuits, ideology — Meanka triumphed amid the hurdles.

A little girl from Rainawari left Kashmir with perhaps no understanding of what led to her sudden departure from home. Like many other Kashmiri Pandits her parents made the difficult decision to leave due to persecution, because they had no other choice and feared for their own life and safety and that of the family, the government too was unable to protect them from the grave human rights abuse.

“I haven’t spent much time there. I was a little girl when we had to leave. Kashmir for me is Srinagar, that too Rainawari, where we lived, Habba Kadal, my ‘Matamaal’ (maternal home) and Karan Nagar, Ganpatyar, where few of our relatives lived. But yes, I do sometimes want to know, what happened to the grape vines, the huge walnut tree, the fig shrubs in our lovely garden. The seeds of the walnut tree were sown by my late great grandmother ‘Kakni’ on the day my father was born, so it would be as old as my father, more like my third parent. When I visited our home in Kashmir in 2018, the tree had been cut down by the new occupants, I often wonder, what harm could have the poor walnut tree done to anyone alive or dead. I do miss the chirping of birds that would flock together on this tree soon after the sun would set — those birds too lost their home.”

“I have no recollection of firsthand experience of discrimination, I did not spend enough time there to go through that. However, I feel it now, when people in Kashmir ask me questions like ‘Are you a Kashmiri?’ despite me conversing with them in Kashmiri, so may be something has changed!”

Little girl with little dreams and lot of passion. The inspiration came from various sources, Meanka was aware of her environs, she observed the surroundings, watching people and taking baby steps.

“To be honest, I am a huge fan of my parents! I am so proud of my upbringing, that they always showed me both sides of the coin when it comes to Kashmir. I have heard the heartwarming stories of their childhood friendships with people from the Kashmiri Muslim community. The ugly side of it, I unfortunately experienced myself — the exodus.”

“I hold Zareef Ahmed Zareef Sahib, a well-known writer, poet and a social activist, in high regard. The younger generation has a lot to learn from him. His contribution to preserve Kashmiriyat (he likes to call it “Kaeshiriyat”) is HUGE, not an easy task to accomplish in the current wave of unrest and turmoil.”

“I love quite a few Kashmiri songs ‘Harmokh Bartal’, ‘Maayi Tchaani’, ‘Waeriven Seeth’,’Bumburoo Bumbroo’, ‘Hukus Bukus’ and Shiv Bhajans especially ‘Beltai Maadai, some of my favourite singers being Neerja Pandit, Kailash Sadhu, Aabha Hanjura , Yawar Abdal, Ali Saifuddin, Irfan-Bilal”

The enigma of past and the reality of present, the heritage and the need for identity, are all entwined thoughts that most adults reflect upon but interestingly children remember a lot too and in surprising detail, those impressions stay, even if not in an organized fashion. As they grow the tiny bits of information and experiences literally lie strewn across the entirety of their fragile minds; they knit them together to make a memory, create a nostalgia. Meanka has not forgotten despite being very young during exodus and her need to stay connected to her roots is incredibly strong.

“I miss our ‘Home’ in Rainawari, clear skies, chirping of birds, snow, chants in the neighbouring ‘Vitaal Baerav Temple’, bread from the local bakery. I miss celebrating our festivals like ‘Herath’, ‘Khechi Maavas’, ‘Gaad Batta’ as all these festivals /occasions have a direct connection with our land. Long story short, I miss everything that I remember!”

“My father was planning to buy a bigger plot of land in Bagh-e- Mehtab as Rainawari was getting congested, but due to the turn of events in 1989 his business suffered immensely and that plan was deserted forever.”

When you are unfolding your story there is no need or room for rhetoric and misrepresentation — only the truth — about ordinary people, who lost everything, left their entire lives behind, often with just the clothes they had on, looking to start over, so that their kids get education, better lives, security, and simply live with dignity and freedom.

“Life was hard post the exodus, very hard infact. My father was running his own trekking company and my mother was a teacher in a private school. Tourism and Education were primary causalities of terrorism in Kashmir, hence not only did my parents lose their house but they also lost their sources of income.”

“Everything outside Kashmir was new and not in a good way! It was hard to accept that there would be no 24x7 water supply and one could no longer drink water directly from the tap. I was very close to my paternal grandfather, who somehow believed that Delhi was warmer than Jammu, hence he decided to stay with my uncle in Jammu. This was difficult for me to handle as it meant not living in the same house, like we did back in Srinagar. This was killing me inside and it was very hard for him as well. The only time I would get to spend with him were those three months in winter when he would come to stay with us in Noida and I would relive our life of Rainawari home with him. He used to write me letters; when I went to study Engineering in Bombay. I would get a letter from him every two weeks. He left this world too soon and till his last day kept saying ‘bu marei emi garmah seeth’ (this heat is going to kill me) and he was right. Whenever I think of my grandfather, I shut my eyes only to find myself in our Rainawari home, his classy self, holding a book in his hand and reading. Ah! I miss him.”

“When I look at my parents, I feel they never got a chance to rest /relax. I have only seen them working, all the time. I remember my mother reminding me and my brother ‘we don’t know any influential people in Government, so work hard and make a name for yourself’. My father would say ‘whatever you do, even if it is polishing your school shoes, give it your 100%’. I guess these gems from my parents stayed with me forever. In all this, God has been kind, the hard work and grit of my parents seems to have paid off; today we are in a comfortable space.”

“ I wanted to become a doctor till I was about nine years old then, later I wanted to be a lawyer. As a teen, I wanted to become a social worker but like a typical obedient Kashmiri kid, I ended up with an Engineering Degree from Mumbai University in Information &Technology.”

“Engineering is not something where my heart was! I wanted to do something that offered creative freedom, learning and development came close to that. I have been in this space for 12 years, helping grow organisations, setting up training functions. However, this is not all that I wanted to do! My life and career have been driven by a strong passion to support and bring about a change.”

The juxtaposition of human emotions perhaps explains the correlation between comedy and tragedy, the good and bad not only make us resilient but the humour helps us cope with struggle, helps us heal ourselves and to an extent heal others too, helps connect with those whose pain we share and understand.

“The fact that life is so uncertain and unpredictable; worse is when you do not have a backup plan! One day we had an identity, we were called ‘Kashmiris’ and the very next day our world came crashing down in front of our eyes- no house, no land, no identity! I work hard, because life can surprise you anytime and you may not always like it. I was taught not to be bitter, so while I was quite aware of what and how we had suffered due to exodus, I did not carry any bitterness. Despite all the evil around us today, I have come to an understanding that ‘there is something good in this world, that’s worth fighting for’, I guess this helps me in everything that I do and keeps me going.”

“I truly believe that at the end of the day ‘we are all human beings’ and I applied the same to the people who watch my comic videos. All my videos carry a social message, conveyed in a language that Kashmiris relate to irrespective of their religion or social standing. My content is meant for ‘human beings’ who love and understand Kashmiri language. I take immense pride in the fact that I am a part of a 5000+ years old history of Jammu & Kashmir, hence will continue to contribute in my own tiny ways.”

“My comedy is my humble attempt to preserve our ‘Kashmiri language’ which is so close to my heart. I credit my family for my fluency in ‘Kashmiri’, especially my parents and late grandfather who made sure we spoke in Kashmiri at home. My YouTube channel (now a company) ‘Asvun Koshur’ is an endeavour to present the still unknown aspect of Kashmiri language/culture to the entire world through comic and family-oriented video monologues, cutting across the divide of caste, creed, sect and religion.”

The essence of the description of Meanka’s Youtube channel is: "Asvun Koshur-translates to a ‘smiling Kashmiri’ and that is who I am. I aim to make people laugh and encourage them to look at the lighter side of life. I was born in Srinagar and love our Kashmiri Culture and everything that comes along with it. This channel is my humble attempt to encourage people to speak in Kashmiri, thus preserve culture and stay connected to our roots. Almost every older girl of a Kashmiri Pandit household was called ‘Dida’, and I am the eldest daughter both from paternal and maternal side. ‘Dida’ is the central character of my solo acts so far. I write my own scripts and direct these acts as well.”

In exile, communities aspire to preserve their native language and cultural identity. When you land in a multilingual and multicultural environment the language and culture are driven by parental influences and exposure to the same at a very young age becomes essential, one craves to maintain the heritage and strengthen the communication between generations. And Meanka’s parents have done an excellent job of inculcating this in their kids, they could not have done it better, this could be a case study in more ways than one. I discovered Meanka on Facebook through one of her first videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwnYG1jp-No&t=51s which besides being extremely humorous reflected her acting talent, her command over Kashmiri, her mimicry, her strong sense of observation, her ability to reconstruct scenarios that many Kashmiris would be able to identify with, lastly her magnanimity and commitment to connect with a wide Kashmiri audience, a very inclusive style — all of these made her very special and unique.
After watching her subsequent videos, one could not help being highly impressed and intrigued by her creativity, every character she portrayed seemed like someone I knew well or could relate to, it spoke volumes about Meanka’s power and ability to notice and pay close attention to people and their demeanor and disposition. I felt both proud and envious — proud that someone who had not lived in Kashmir for very long spoke Kashmiri with such fluency and ease, knew the exact expressions, the satire, the accent, the metaphors and proverbs, the habits, the tonality, had inherited the ‘Koshur’ sense of humour, plus the perfect comic timing; envious because I had failed to learn my mother tongue well, despite the opportunity and the fact that my parents always spoke in Kashmiri and effortlessly — it brought a sense of loss and regret, something that I had been evading to acknowledge, perhaps I had been in denial.
Meanka brings so much joy, laughter and hope without being selective, she has developed lasting relationships with Kashmiris across the divide, which is an achievement given the history, the complexity of circumstances and the skepticism. Both communities have welcomed her with open arms, showered warmth and appreciation; through her performances she has become an emissary of peace. She is my youngest ‘exiled inspiration’. She should be a role model for many a Kashmiri youngster who ought to value the importance of persevering Kashmiri language and culture as well as learn the art of reconciliation, preservation and communication through peaceful and creative means.

“The world is a dream, you say, and it’s lovely, sometimes sunset, clouds, sky.” “No. The image is a dream. The beauty is real.”― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.

A new sun has risen for Meanka, it may lack the warmth of Kashmir, it’s real beauty being; it will spread the light of compassion and goodwill.

Learn more about Meanka here:

Originally published on December 17, 2019 at https://www.facebook.com/notes/1416432001892802/

Exiled Inspiration VIII: Meanka Handu

Written by egzīld

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