“Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers.” ― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
Rashmi is at her best in the adaptation of the symbolism of this quote. We never stop learning, that’s the beauty of life. There are always new skills to learn and practices for us to adopt. Understanding and demonstrating this is what makes people successful, they don’t act like they know everything. They understand the fact that they have to continuously learn and improve to succeed, thus making them great role models. They become, learners, doers, teachers just like Rashmi.
Even as I set out to dig deeper into Rashmi’s journey, though I have known her since she was born, I discovered she had matured into a great writer, loved the way she has expressed herself and woven sentences, delighted to reproduce her own words here!
“My childhood was sheltered to a large extent, I moved around quite a bit between my ancestral maternal and paternal homes as with the rest of the kids in Kashmir. The noteworthy crowd at Ishber, Nishat on Sundays or annual birthdays, illustrious yet labyrinthine lanes and indiscriminate scenes breaking at every corner around Habba Kadal, the inevitably long walk with friends from Convent on the days when I would miss my bus, my mother (Usha Dhar Kilam) relentlessly training me in classical music or performances at the Tagore hall, orange popsicles during lunch breaks at school are a few clear memories and more.”
“ I recollect our nonchalance towards the matter of fact breathtaking beauty, our rather relaxed parental controls on movies peppered with unmentionables, gullibility permeating at every level at school and pre-teens years in Srinagar, endless spectacles badminton/cricket (pronounced as Kirketh by some neighbours), carom board fights, waiting for the school van outside my home early winter mornings and then finding a spot to park myself in it if I got lucky after hauling my semi gargantuan backpack to blow hot air into my numb fingers.”
Living in Kashmir was like a dream that slowly turned into a nightmare, albeit with little or no warning. Sometimes one wonders did we miss the signs or were we too idealistic, romanticizing the bonhomie or were we too insignificant to matter. All said and done the experiences, both good and not so good made us what we are today; we lost, we gained, hoping to leave behind the footprints of our existence.
“I felt a little stifled by the aggression in the valley a few years into my preteens and derision of my almost disappearing KP community within the valley and outside it as well. Sometimes in school, my friends would rebuke me for aligning with India even though we all stood on Indian soil.”
“Like other Pandit families, my family had no choice but to leave our home, heritage and our ancestral memorabilia in the most unforgettable chilly winter of 1990. Its permanence in history is irreparable and yet the world knows very little of the true face of Kashmir. When we came to Delhi for instance, my non-Kashmiri friends would wonder why we didn’t fight back and stayed.”
Everything is different when you are a child: the sky is vast, the sun is brighter, and every new day is a lovely surprise. Beautiful anecdotes and experiences — amusing, sublime, touching become an assortment of moments that stay with us forever.
“As a tiny kid, I aspired to be an ice cream wala/ cake wala (hawker) at one end of the spectrum until I threw out several such roles to be in the corporate world. Alarmingly enough, it took me my first startup experience around the internet & telecom bust to realize what it meant. This led to my rather gradual mission to unlearn and relearn most of what was taught at the business school. It is eye-opening what your instincts, real-world conflict resolution, non-conformities, unwavering ethics, humility, experiences in multi-cultures or merely the power of responsibility can teach you.”
“As a kid, you always look up to the ones older than you. I was overwhelmed constantly with my older cousins and older family members, members in the community and those who could stand up for others.”
“I miss so many things ……The sweet spring water at Chasme Shahi, the distant hum of bells & prayers resonating from a temple, the beautiful azaans from the mosque, chinar leaves in all colours, the fixed power cuts, the addiction for VHS movies during three chilly months of winter, the unabashed patriotism during cricket tournaments. I am stoked whenever I listen to ‘Hosh dim lagyo’. Songs of Habba Khatoon occasionally sung by my parents. My favourite Kashmiri singers Shamima Dev and Late Vijay Malla”
“There are memories from each nostalgic, sometimes threatening, other times boring moments almost asphyxiated in a cranial corner. The formative years spent gave memories mostly from observing and cataloging that will irrefutably die with me. No matter how hard I try to weave portions of it, my homeland is foreign in many ways as I don’t recognize it anymore. I try to be a good Kashmiri by following our ancestral traditions: flaunt a ‘dejhor’ occasionally, speak my language, prepare authentic ‘koshur’ meals, marry my own, and such suches. The bitter truth is that my children can inherit my traits, but will never acquire a sense of what Kashmir for their ancestors meant who lived for thousands of years with 8 exoduses’ in the valley. Or fathom their journey from rejoicing their Cherry and Apple Orchards to donating them besides their homes or for freshwater lake swims in the blue Dal, their grandpa’s (HK Kilam) regatta contests at Biscoe school events or hikes up on the magnificent Zabarwan.”
The pain and anguish are evident, but the survival instincts have not failed Rashmi, the hard-wired instincts have kept her going and given her the hysterical strength.
“I am deeply attracted to small acts of kindness, gratitude and the will to share affection.”
The route and journey of exodus have not been easy for anyone in our community, as difficult to narrate as it was to endure. One needs to step out of the histrionics, the emotional baggage, the bitterness, the heartbreak and put a semblance of truth to the story.
“I’d have to sit down to nail this coherently, after migration. I do have to say, we had a few struggles after leaving Kashmir but nothing that comes close to what some of my brethren witnessed. Blessed to have my parents watch my back and support me.”
“ I pursued my education without any substantial hurdle in and around Delhi in spite of being a small-town girl. Fingers crossed, living in Delhi even in the 90s was’nt for the faint of heart. You gather the guts, the prudence, the guards and navigate unflinchingly through the prototypical Delhi/Haryana buses and crowds. Those soggy walls spewed with a thesaurus, math problems, and formulas for GMAT followed a year after long hours in the Miranda House library notes, oil-soaked weekend hair, bus trips to my maternal aunts over the weekends, homemade meal and laughter with my fun cousins. “Pay attention”! It paid off.”
“I’d gnomically assign this journey ordinary from high school to Delhi university to a business school until I was hired at their campus. Then came a hurricane of long work hours, culture & geography mapping, frequent overseas travel (and expired miles), the corporate ladder, slideshows, sakes and sojourns in doon just like an animated fiction. We inhabit a character we play by inventing a backstory, or developing an internal world to fend off anything that thwarted my focus. That doesn’t happen anymore with so many distractions now. Smartphone being one- 2020 is here and unimaginable when my brother laid his eyes on my first smartphone in 2002 with metadata. Haha! Yes, that does boil down to how my career in the telecom world and my conscious exploration with highs and lows of it in almost 4 continents. They said to me ‘fire came off her in determination’. Synonymously, my brother, (Dilip Kilam) described it once to my folks in 2001 ‘cut open her veins and her company’s name will spill’. This is when I realized a childish dream, time for my own very very soon. I braved consulting with another firm for a few years until I started my own in 2007.”
“Background wise, I started 19 years ago with an investment group that created Orange & Tokyo Digital Phone (now SoftBank) for internet and software acquisitions. I focus on international business, portfolio evaluation, and strategy and worked with teams of global Sovereign funds, family offices, HNIs, and a dozen startups for industries across auto, AI, IoT, AR/VR, Fintech, Telecom, Med Tech/Devices. Currently, I run Bouin Capital and actively surround myself with some fascinating people with unwavering passion, humility besides expertise in several industries. 10 years ago, a bunch of remarkably unique artists inspired me to start a small organization to help them reach a larger audience for their talent. Most recently, I got involved with film production on issues of homelessness, mental health, and addiction about two lost souls who embark across a dreamscape America.”
Rashmi is the Managing Director at Bouin Capital, a strategy consulting firm.She has built markets across Africa, Europe, the Middle East, US & Asia that paved the way for an incredible pool of social capital in the last two decades. Bouin Capital was launched to support growth, resilience, expansion, innovation, and entrepreneurship. Rashmi works with her clients range from start-ups to family offices and HNIs. She is a Member of the Advisory Board for a diagnostic healthcare device company, Forbes Japan listed B2B SaaS startup and a Reddot winner FinTech startup. She stays on advisory boards, is a venture mentor with Austin Technology Incubator & IC2, CSweetener, and MassChallenge Boston.Rashmi evaluates, advises, invests, and is on the investment evaluation committee with an impact-driven South West Angel Network across the US. Rashmi is invited to judging and coaching during annual global conferences such as SXSW Interactive, Invest in Korea Week, Rice Alliance Business Plan Competition Houston, Texas (RBPC), HITLab (Healthcare Innovation & Tech Lab), and Innostars by US-China Innovation Alliance. She has attended events including Arabcom, Mobile World Congress, World Congress of IT, MassBio, Women in Tech Summit, and TiE.Rashmi specialized in International Business & Strategy and a Bachelor's in Biology & Chemistry from Delhi University. Rashmi speaks four languages fluently, writes three scripts and was trained in classical music.
‘Vakil’ household, as in my ‘Matamal’ lived up to the Indian tradition of the joint Hindu family, with many generations living under the same roof. Rashmi’s maternal grandfather and my maternal grandfather were brothers and stayed in the same huge ancestral house in Zaindar Mohalla, Habba Kadal, for the longest time; their grand children were born there as well. Her mom — Usha Masi and my mother were inseparable in their youth. My mother being older is still fiercely protective of her and they continue to share a special bond. So, Rashmi and I had the same ‘Matamaal’ but she was much younger to me, another common factor being our alma mater — Presentation Convent.
Rashi — the kid sister I would bump into invariably in ‘our Matamaal’ and family weddings, teased often by the older cousins which she would take in a stride on most days, would make me feel both empathetic and helpless, having gone through the same experiences myself. Yet she was confident and chirpy with an infectious energy. The chirpiness had stayed even after we met in Delhi a few years later post exodus, one did notice a huge shift in how she had approached and managed the situation that we all were in at that point of time — a mature and sensible teenager stood in front of me.
I would describe her as a free spirit with a killer’s instinct. That she would go places was inevitable but to soar great heights and stay firmly grounded is exemplary. Rashmi lives in Austin, Texas with her husband Vikram Khosa and two children, whom I have not met, thanks to the internet age, we have grown closer yet far apart. I can only summarise my admiration by stating that Rashmi has emerged a true winner in every aspect of life and I sincerely hope she inspires more members of our community and the world at large.
“In the path of our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime.”― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
Good choices have kept Rashmi heading in the direction in which she aspired to go even if some decisions were a bit dreary at the time but eventually led to better directions down the path.
Learn more about Rashmi here:
Originally published on January 12, 2020 at https://www.facebook.com/notes/371797563972366/
© Jheelaf Parimu Razdan
